Tag Archives: confidence

How to Build Confidence in Your Child

How to Build Confidence in Your Child

If you were a fly on my classroom wall you would often hear this question being asked by parents during interviews:

“How can I build my child’s confidence?”

What a great question. I mean who doesn’t want a happy, healthy, confident child?!???!?! …. & it seems to me that confidence is 3/4 of any “activity” (e.g. developing social skills, learning a new sport or skill, school success, etc.).

Anyway, I was thinking about all of the things that I have told parents over the years… and guess what? It’s all just common sense … it’s nothing that those very same parents could and would not have told me themselves had the tables been turned … which, when you think about it, makes good sense.



  • Love them.
  • Praise them.
  • Encourage independence.
  • Encourage a strong, “contained” sense of self-worth & confidence.
  • Get to know them: Their friends, games, music, TV shows … who they are, what they do, what they love …
  • Set the stage for a great life … Be firm, be realistic & then : Laugh. Smile. Play.


  • Provide structure. Set boundaries.
  • Be consistent.
  • Keep promises.
  • Discuss your values, set your rules – state/explain your expectations – review them often.
  • Provide rewards & consequences when necessary.
  • Be yourself.
  • Be a role model for your child.


  • Teach independence.
  • Teach responsibility.
  • Teach “stick with-ed-ness” e.g. When first you don’t succeed that’s OK, just try, try again.”
  • Teach self-control.
  • Teach right from wrong.
  • Teach respect (personal & for others).
  • Teach problem-solving skills and decision-making skills.
  • Teach and model good conversations skills and active listening skills.
  • Teach them  that there are things in life that they have control over and can change, and there are those things that they simply must accept.


… opportunities to see new things, meet new people, try new foods, etc.
… a safe, secure environment (emotionally, physically … you know the drill 😉
… opportunities to take risks.
… opportunities to learn new skills.
… opportunities to practice new skills.
… push a little when appropriate … be never too much.
… opportunities for success.
… opportunities to learn from mistakes … and to be OK with that.
… choices for your child – but never too many. Always remember that you are “the boss”.


  • Be warm. Be firm. Be silly.
  • Be serious. Be honest. Be realistic.
  • Be empathetic. Be patient.
  • Be an explorer.
  • Live, laugh, love, learn ….
  • Be yourself!
  • They are great, and so are you!